TOP STORY

BEIJING, CHINA – After several years of working through scenarios, China says it is strongly considering taking over the world in the next five to 10 years.
“We rook at evy-ting and we rearize tat (China) have evy-ting we need to take over word,” said Ma Zhaoxu, a spokesman for China's Ministry of Foreign Affairs. “So maybe (China) just do it. Maybe we just take over word. Who stop us? America can not stop us now."
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BOSTON, MA – A recent sociological study out of the Harvard University has concluded that 83% percent of Irish people are alcoholics.
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EL CAJON, CA – The friends and family of Gary Kostisyn are almost unanimous in the feeling that Gary doesn't get it. In a strongly worded letter from those that know him best, Kostisyn was warned to “get his shit together and figure it out.”
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Wendy's Customer Not Funny
English Professor Gives Up on His Class
Football Commentary Vaguely Homoerotic
Woman Upset by Reaction to Solitaire Win

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