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Guy at Gym Wearing Inappropriate Pants
HUNTINGTON BEACH, CA - All customers of the Huntington Beach Fitness Club agree that the guy that shows up in the skin-tight, teal running pants is dressed inappropriately.
"I'm not against skin-tight clothing per se, but what that guy is doing is unacceptable," said HBFC member Jeremy Johnson. "You can see his junk from across the room. Especially when he sits in the middle of the weight lifting room stretching. That shit is gonna get that dude beat."
While none of the customers have contacted the man directly, some have left notes on the man's locker.
"Yeah, I'm not gonna talk to him but I left a note on his locker that said 'don't wear those pants again. We can all see your junk and it's fucking gross,'" said HBFC member Paul Mastery.
As of last week, the guy was still wearing the offensive pants.
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Supreme Court Legalizes Polygamy with Hot Wives
WASHINGTON, DC - In an unexpected move, the United States Supreme Court has ruled that polygamy will be declared legal as long as certain requirements are met. Among the requirements are stipulations that only men can have multiple wives, the wives must be hot and each wife is expected to service the man sexually whenever he wants or needs it.
"When you think about it, this is the way that some other countries have done it for thousands of years," said Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas. "There is nothing wrong with having as much sex as possible, and polygamy is the simple answer that will ultimately keep families together. Think about, now a man doesn't have to go find some pussy on the side because his wife has a damn 'headache' every night. We're thinking of the family here."
In order to marry additional women, each man must submit a photo of the potential wife and a statement saying why he thinks he needs another wife, to his local government. Each case will be reviewed and either granted or declined by a trained government employee.
"Me, I cant wait to get me some more wives," said George Benson, 35, a construction worker in Des Moines, Iowa. "I can get all the tail that I want, and it's law that they have to be hot. How can that be a bad thing?"
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